By: Dr. Saniyyah Mayo, LMFT
1. Communication – In any relationship there has to be healthy communication. Healthy communication determines how a couple can handle stressful conversations. When engaged in a healthy conversation, no one is talking over the other person or interrupting them. Each person listens intently with the mindset of trying to understand what the other person is expressing. Healthy communication is demonstrating patience and seeking clarification when you don’t understand.
2. Allow Your Mate to Be Vulnerable – Your mate has to feel that they can open up to you without being ridiculed and/or judged. When your mate opens up to you the things that they say can never be thrown in their face and or repeated to someone else or they will avoid letting you into their safe place again.
3. Know It’s Okay to Say No – In a healthy relationship your mate should be able to say “no” without being made to feel guilty. Many people fall short of this. A relationship should not be based on what a person can do for you. A person should feel safe saying “yes” or “no” without fear of the relationship ending.
4. Be able to Agree to Disagree – Your mate should never feel like they have to agree with everything that you say. You are an individual because you have your own mind, as is your mate. If you want someone to agree with everything that you say, then you should be in a relationship with yourself.
5. Continue to Date – Never take your mate for granted by forgetting the reason why you fell in love in the first place. Many couples forget to date. It is easy to get caught up in the everyday things of life and put the romance on the back burner. Set dating as a monthly goal. Agree on the amount of times per month that you will set time aside for your relationship and plan ahead!
DISCLAIMER: NONE OF THESE TIPS WILL WORK IF YOU HAVEN’T LEARNED HOW TO LOVE AND BE SECURE WITH YOU!